Hazarys, Pity's Opening

07h35 AM

6h30 AM, summer was coming, earlier the sunrise and later the sunset, it was the moment for Hazarys, an exhausted 17-year-old young-man, to get ready to a marvelous sunny day.
Like every morning, he went downstairs. His mom, proud of her prodigious son and spoiling him a little too much as usual, prepared hot chocolate for him that he preferred cold, who knows why. Each action was minute-calibrated. Automatically following his mental plan, he turned the TV on to distract himself a bit and watched some cartoons while watching on his phone the passing of time.
At exactly 7h00, without turning the image box off, he headed for the bathroom to slip into the clothes she had prepared. He locked himself in and the race began, the stroke being given when pushing the « play » button.
Staring at the eyes of his reflection, he brushed his teeth the faster and the most painfully he could causing some little bleedings. Everything had a price to pay, he had to be handsome.

A new challenge imposed itself : the dressing. He knew that one by heart. His mouth being free, he could even, since he loved it, allow himself to sing during this one. Strategically, he began with the bottom, ending by tying his shoelaces his way – he never knew the other way - before going back up. Then he put some perfume on and deodorized himself excessively. He had to smell nice but after came the round he dreaded the most : the hairdressing ! After several improbable attempts to reshape his mid-length black hair, he let the destiny choose as always wiping his tears of joy and pain before hitting the « stop » button.
He opened the door, put his one-hour-fast watch on and said to himself, after a brief calculus, that he had saved time and that he would allow himself to watch the rest of his cartoons for some minutes. He then asked his mom several times if his course was up to his previous ones, she immediately reassured him claiming his beauty. While he was checking it in the mirrors several times, she brought him his prize : a glass of water.
7h45, he had to leave. He put his coat on, turned his reward off, drank his prize and carried his heavy school bag onto the back of the car. He sat on the front seat and sang the radio hits during the drive until a traffic jam interrupted his performance. Even though school was nearby, he had to be on time.
They arrived at his destination. He demanded not to park too close to the educational establishment. Once executed, he took his sentence, kissed the driver and promised her several times he would do his best. She knew it well, he had to pass the chemistry test.

He then arrived at the entrance open to the outside that leaded to the schoolyard.
This entrance was wide, deep and always very crowded. People amassed themselves to the ends letting a pass line at the center as a mouth swallowing its prey while its parasites were going into raptures over its last hour.
What were they all doing there if it was not to criticize the next model of the fashion show ? Were they in search of entertainment ? He was not going to grant them fun. Holding his breath, confidently walking, he was moving forward to the throat suffering from each look comparable to a murdering blade.
Neutrally looking, holding his head high and displaying a provocative smile, he was erasing the spectators from his mind until the tension fell down, he had just seen his only friend.
They went round in circles in the schoolyard laughing at their latest jokes. The school bell rang. It was time to go the mathematics lesson. An important test had been given yesterday and being the teacher’s favorite, he knew he was much awaited. He walked up the stairs with his friend to the classroom trying to avoid every eye contact.

Once they reached the door, the class was already there waiting for the teacher, talking about yesterday’s test. He told his best friend he was not really sure to succeed whereas the latter was rather confident.
All of a sudden, Peter, one of his classmates, interrupted them in a mocking and excessively enthusiast tone and asked loud and clear to make sure to be heard since several pupils were standing between them if he was looking forward to learning given that Hazarys, being top of the class in spite of himself, had the reputation to have no life, assimilated to a being without emotions whose only goal was to study day and night. The looks of the entertained crowd waiting for an answer focused on him and he answered that no, he was not looking forward to learning. Peter, in the same tone, insisted claiming it could not be otherwise. Using his logic, you could not enjoy yourself and be a good pupil at the same time, you could not exist and succeed in school since he could not. He ignored his remarks breaking the popular entertainment that Peter refreshed straight away by a saying worth his inferior mind : « Suck penises, Hazarys ». The girls started giggling as if they wanted to hide the fact that their stupidity was what the entertainer fed himself. He attempted to express his pity by a slight snigger and a smile while shaking his head, eyes lowered.
The mathematics teacher arrived and the pupils could come in. Hazarys, having his vision reduced and refusing to wear glasses in public, always sat on the chair nearest to the blackboard, an easily targeted and very criticized seat that strengthened his reputation but he had to succeed. Moreover, his worst friend didn’t want to flaunt himself and preferred to take shelter at the back so he was alone. It was time to get the results. The teacher criticized most of the pupils about their mediocrity concerning the trigonometry test reminding them the traditional speech about the learning basis with its notions of regular work and attention during the lessons which made laugh internally Hazarys who worked a lot but only 2 days a week and who was very absent-minded during the class preferring learning by himself at home. However, she really wanted to congratulate one pupil in particular who had been the only one to brilliantly pass this test mentioning his ingenuity so envied, his rigor and above all the fact that he distinguished himself from the others. Proud of her unique teaching success, she asked the crowd if it knew who this mysterious student she had just isolated was. This one, exasperated, answered all together the name of its executioner that the large number would quickly transform into victim. Then an euphoric and power fade out « yes » burst and she ordered, to finish the humiliated one off : « Give him a round of applause ! ». What the humiliating ones did exaggeratedly.
Being ill-at-ease, Hazarys, sweating, the heart accelerating to the beat of the claps, was feeling the collective wrath directly proportional to the time and retaliated with his defying smile.
Did you know that some cannibal tribes showed their teeth to intimidate their all too naïve enemies who mistook their smiles for a welcoming act before quickly regretting their invitation to dinner ?
End of the lesson, several minutes to breath, he took time to pick up his things and was the last one to leave as always, even his friend did not wait for him.

Time for the chemistry lesson in which a test had been scheduled but thoughtful, Hazarys was reliving each second of his humiliations. Distracted, he was walking along the hallways drawing on the walls, by a movement of his left forefinger up from below while moving forward, a sinus curve.
He came in the classroom and sat on the front bench. The practical test began, his mind could comfortably lock itself into acido-basic mixtures until a cry of pain made it escape brutally. Peter, the dunce, had just failed his test as evidenced by the poor condition of his face. He had mistaken bleach for distilled water when balancing his hydrochloric acid. This explosive mixture had to intrigue himself as he put his face closer to the flask to better observe the unusual variation of color leaving some time for the toxic fumes to infiltrate his epidermis that caused a forehead opening. Hazarys thought Peter had deserved it, it was a matter of karma, he would have peace for some days.
He was brought to the school clinic and the test was cancelled. So the lessons finished earlier.

He was finally released. Outside, it was raining cats and dogs. Whereas the others were going back home, he decided to take a walk round the park. During the walk, because of the bad weather, the alleys were as empty as the park itself, he was feeling good. He was soaking wet and since he often got sick, he made the wise decision to take shelter under a tree where he removed his bag and arranged his hair a bit. Comfortably seated in the shadow of a widow, he contemplated a last time this grey and cloudy landscape that reminded him the gloomy apocalypse in which he basked so before closing his eyes letting himself be lulled by the sound of rain.
The lullaby allowed his mind to fly away and to think about one of his passions : the insects. Never he had been scared by them and never he killed them. When a beetle got lost in his house, he brought it back delicately to his garden and during cold weather, when a spider chose his house as a safe refuge, he let it rest. He admired their adaptability, their unwavering spirit of cohesion and their pain tolerance. An insect close to death would never change its lifestyle rather like proof of dedication, he envied them for it. These ones in no way sought to harm deliberately, they attacked only to survive unlike the men, come after them and that would leave before them, he was sure of it.

He especially liked the insects rejected by the others, the ones no one loved surely because he shared that feeling. His favorite insects were the moths. These ones could only live in the dark because they needed the moonlight to travel, it was a so-called « transverse orientation », a type of celestial navigation however the light was also their weakness because being naturally attracted to it, they were misled by the artificial ones and even knowing the death was expecting them, they kept getting closer and closer to it, sort of madness that he took more for hope and determination. Like them, he only felt good in the dark, he liked being invisible and contemplating the light from stars. He had never understood why some things were considered marvelous and others sinful, why was it said that the weather was nice when sunny whereas the rain was even nicer ? Why did people worship butterflies whereas they hunted moths ?
While wondering about the meaning of this profound injustice, something interrupted his meditation. Landed on his left thumb a beautiful butterfly the same colors as the ones of the rainbow that had just appeared.
Without hesitation, he responded to the fire burning in his heart. By bending his forefinger, he crushed it and pronounced these words : « I feel like a moth among the butterflies ».

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UPD 06/01/2014 (08h18 PM)

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